\" \"Would you like me to carry some of the books? I have nothing to bring home today. She grasped at the right one, massaging where his grip had been and Gerald hoped he had not bruised her. “Am I dull?” she said. And they had an idea of what men were like behind all their nicety. Was it that the struggle of things to survive produced as a sort of necessary byproduct these intense preferences and appreciations, or was it that some mystical outer thing, some great force, drove life beautyward, even in spite of expediency, regardless of survival value and all the manifest discretions of life? She went to Capes with that riddle and put it to him very carefully and clearly, and he talked well—he always talked at some length when she took a difficulty to him—and sent her to a various literature upon the markings of butterflies, the incomprehensible elaboration and splendor of birds of Paradise and hummingbirds’ plumes, the patterning of tigers, and a leopard’s spots. Even Capes had been for her merely an excitant to passionate love—a mere idol at whose feet one could enjoy imaginative wallowings. ’ A little sigh escaped her. ‘But a spy I am not. “What have I been all this time?” she asked herself, and answered, “Just stark egotism, crude assertion of Ann Veronica, without a modest rag of religion or discipline or respect for authority to cover me!” It seemed to her as though she had at last found the touchstone of conduct. Spurlock had sensed what had gone completely over McClintock's head—that this was the playing of a soul in damnation. "There! off with you!" whispered Mrs.
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