She felt anger at Sebastian, anger at the thrill that she felt in her loins upon seeing him, anger at herself for never having the courage to end her own life. ‘You wouldn’t know one end of a pistol from the other. What is the supreme idea in the heart and mind of youth? To win fame and fortune: and particularly to enjoy them. She was a woman now to the tips of her fingers; she had said good-bye to her girlhood in the old garden four years and a quarter ago. To receive him here afterwards would be most repugnant to me. ’ The pathetic sob which accompanied the last word had a signal effect on two of the company at least. He continued to do this for the rest of the evening intermittently, in and out, among other topics.
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